How You Know

Because today, I woke up at 9:15

I got up and slowly ate breakfast,

as the negative thoughts rushed back in,

pushing me back to my bed,

where I stayed, alone, for hours,

looking at the walls, not wanting to move,

11:30 am, still lying there,

and I can hear it,

the noises, voices, telling me,

“you have no reason to get out of bed”

“no one loves you”

“you’re going to fail at this”.

The tears start coming,

because it’s noon,

and I’m still in my bed,

and it’s done it once again,

pulled me under.

1 pm. I haven’t moved.

1:30. and as I look around, I hear something,

but this time, it’s my own voice.

“okay, that’s enough”

“get up”

“you’re not doing this again.”

so, I get up,

change my clothes,

brush my hair,

and smile in the mirror,

because that’s how you know you’ve won.

that’s how you know you’re stronger,

because you got up,

you pushed the demons away,

you took control.

Some days are worse than others,

maybe it will never completely go away,

but each day is a new day,

and today,

you got up.

that’s how you know you’re healing.

-LR

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