A strange force came over Lauren, one that made her feel completely alone in a city with thousands of people. She felt as if her head was spinning in circles, or as if her chest might explode from the inside out. She began to think about her own life, and what she had done to get to this point. What was she doing here? What was she looking for? What was the point of all of this if she felt nearly the same as when she had left? She thought she would be some new, improved person by now, but she didn’t feel any different. In fact, she might even feel worse. At least before she could block out all of the emotions. Now, they all came flooding in with no way to stop them.
She pulled her knees into her chest and looked up at the night sky. It was only grey; thousands of stars hidden behind blinding city lights. What she wouldn’t give to be home right now, in the woods where she used to work as a child, where she could actually see those stars.
She rubbed her fingers against her temple, trying to force all of the thoughts out of her head, but they wouldn’t budge. There was too much depth in this city. Too much history. Too much nostalgia that wasn’t even hers. Something about it made her want to stay forever and something about it made her want to leave as soon as possible. Maybe it was her. Maybe she was too lost, maybe she just felt things too deeply. Or maybe up until now, she hadn’t felt anything at all.