Never Stop Fighting

Depression is powerful; it’s unpredictable.

You think that it could never happen to you, you think that you will never get that bad.

Until one day..

The sun is a little less bright, and you find it a little harder to laugh.

and you don’t know why, or how, but the bad thoughts sneak into your head, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to make them stop.

Your brain is clouded, and your smile is gone.

You hurt the people you love.

Leaving your house is like going into battle, and things you once loved only scare you now.

and your mind keeps slipping, and slipping, further and further,

and you lose control.

you cry alone on your bedroom floor, or in the shower so no one can hear.

You dig your nails into your skin and scream,

because the demons tugging at your head know just what to say, just what to do..

to destroy you.

***

But you’re not alone.

“you need help” someone will say.

“you’re depressed” a therapist will tell you. and you don’t want to believe it.

Recovery is painful. It’s hard.

Every second that you try to feel better, something pulls you back.

but you’re strong.

And eventually, the sun comes back.

The fog clears.

Everything that scared you seems a little farther away,

and you gain the strength to tell your demons,

“You can’t control me anymore.”

and you hear the sound of the people around you saying:

“I love you more than this.”

Your smile comes back.

You see the beauty within yourself once more.

You breath a sigh of relief and say,

“I’m whole again”

because you never stopped fighting.

-LR

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